Go fast Gum – lemon lime


If the original taste of Go fast energy gum was the most horrid thing I have ever intentionally put into my mouth, this comes in a very close second. This has got to be one of the most revolting things I have managed to choke down. Why do this to us Go Fast? Why tempt us with this yummy looking bit of candy and then try to destroy us? Is it something you are doing to punish the caffeine obsessed?
This gum reminds me of what happens when you put something poisonous in your mouth (don’t ask me how I know this) – and your mouth does everything it can to try to expel it from your body. Most people’s reaction after biting down on this green soft chewyness and releasing the inner brown slimy evil will be to either run for the nearest trash can, or clamp their hands over their mouth to try to keep it in while their tongues valiantly tries to save itself by expelling this substance under the fastest possible rate.
Yes. it is that bad. From all the gum I gave to my emei… test subjects, the best reaction I got was “This does not taste sooo bad as an energy drink gum”. But no, it is that bad. Actually, it is beyond bad – almost to the point that it achieves it own state of evilness, almost an initiation for those who are truly caffeine devoted.

It all starts out innocently enough – just a little lime green chunk of gum. Looks cute enough. A little lick of the green and while it seems chalky, it is not too bad. Inside this pleasant looking chicklet lies pure Caffeinated Wrong. Like one of those old Gushers candies, the inside is filled with this little gravy brown goo that is an entire energy drink’s worth of minerals boiled down to a teeny bit of the nastiest barely edible liquid on the face of this earth.

After biting in, you experience such revulsion that everyone around you giggles at your pain, as your jaws clench down and your saliva works to correct what has gone very very wrong in where your mouth should be. Unfortunately, your mouth has now turned into a grimaced spittle drenched mess, with your teeth clamped down hard enough to make talking or smiling impossible – like you got lost in some David Cronenberg film. I think my taste buds actually went into some split personality state just to overcome the shock I just gave it. and everything , even limburger cheese tasted sweet and delicious after I spit the gum out.

Then before you know it, it is over. Well, sort of over. in 5 minutes the aftertaste of something that is akin to an air freshener left in your mouth, and in 10 minutes you have a chunk of flavorless wax.
What does Go Fast have to say about releasing it on the public? According to http://www.gofastenergygum.com it is supposed to taste like that – as a rite of passage. And the flavor only lasting 10 seconds is all planned so you can know when to spit it out. That is if you made it that far.
Of course, after 10 minutes the kick has set in – and you forget how truly awful it was, because the kick of 80mg of caffeine is really nice – and hits you really hard. And it is a good thing you forget it too, as this gum comes in packs of 5, and you still have 4 more to get rid of.

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