Posted July 6, 2012 by Big Red Boots in coffee energy drinks

Mr. Brown Blue Mountain Blend Iced Coffee

I will admit, I have a habit of putting things in my mouth that I am not supposed to.  Things like plastic tabs off milk cartons or those cheap ball point pens  those little price tag ties you find on your new clothing. It is a little embarrassing, but fortunately I have not eaten anything that has actually harmful effects.  While it is good to get this awkward tidbit off my chest – there is a more important reason for me mentioning this.  Mr. Brown Blue Mountain Blend Iced Coffee tastes like plastic.

This is not even the best plastic I have tasted in  a long time.  While I am sure that there is no plastic in here, it sure seems like I have just drank some.  There is a chalky aftertaste you have, much like the sour you get from a lemon peel in the back of your throat, and this is very present after chugging down the squat little can.

It does not help that this coffee is made in Taiwan,  and I have not had very good track record with them in the past.

The only reason why this can looked interesting to me was because of Mr. Brown, a figure that does not only not make any sense on a can of Asian coffee, but is a bizarre mascot to pick for selling your coffee drinks.  This happy white suited guy is letting you know how yummy it is with his thumb, and has a definite Smipsons-esque quality.

I like the can itself, and am down with the shorty uncrushable steel canister it comes in.  I like mostly everything about this can, even through the main character does not make much sense.  There is even a cool website advertised on the side, along with double facing the product’s brand.

Besides the flavor of plastic, this also lacks the flavor of coffee.  I am sure there is supposed to be a coffee flavor in here somewhere, but good luck finding it.  There is something called coffee extract in here, so at one point this might have contained something derived from coffee, but that moment had passed and left a sour lemony flavor behind.

Now I really like the flavor of coffee – especially Blue Mountain Coffee, so maybe my taste buds are just used to the real thing.  There is a chance that if I were the type to drink a can of instant Taster’s Choice every day I might recognize the taste.  Maybe it is my fault this tastes bad – because I have become a coffee snob and prefer my coffee to taste more like real coffee.

What is even worse is that I LOVE real Blue Mountain Coffee – coming from the Blue Mountains of Jamaica.Blue Mountain coffee is very mild, with almost no trace at all of bitterness or harshness. Not only is the coffee amazing, but it is also found all over in Japan. It was not found, however, anywhere near this can.

Slugging the steel can of Mr Brown’s coffee give me no caffeine buzz, no energy and feeling a little sick.  Now I am pretty sure this is because I am a bit of a hypochondiac, and not because I just happened to buy an old can.  However, Mr. Brown did get into truble back in 2008 for making this drink with Melamine – and their cans of these coffees were pulled from the shelves. This was not really their fault as much as they were caught up in the horrible chinese milk scandal.

 Fortunately, after checking the expiration date on the can and looking at the ingredients, I think I am just letting my mind take over.  The only things that look a little weird to me are Emulsifiers E473,E475 and E322, but according to http://www.muslimtents.com, this just means this has Sucrose, Polyglycerol and Lecithin, all of which look like they might be genetically modified, but at least it is not really the plastic I kept tasting.

What does alarm me is that in the world of Asian Coffees this passes as acceptable.  I have tried many many Asian canned coffee drinks, and this is by far the worst.  Besides the instant coffee extracts, and preservatives, this has just milk powder, sugar and a bunch of water as the ingredients list.  Sorry, but instant coffee with milk powder and a couple tabs of sugar is just not going to cut it.

Big Red Boots