Posted November 13, 2009 by Big Red Boots in straight up energy drink

Spider Energy

Today I had a an energy drink. Now,I know there are quite a few of you out there who think that is stating the obvious – that I am always trying energy drinks, but that is not so true any more. For the last number of months I have had drinks that are Ludicrously healthy, drinks full of antioxidants, coffee drinks, Acai drinks, Drinks that are tea based, mangosteen and superfruit based, or juiced, Goji-ed or powered by magical elixir. I have had gallons of functional drinks, shots, workout supplements and all sorts of powders, gum and lip balms – all trying to make me healthier, smarter and less toxic. Sometimes, it is nice for an energy drink to just do what it used to – give you more insane energy than a rocket powered dirt bike.

So it comes as a nice surprise to open up a package and find a around a dozen old fashioned Xtreme Marketed 16 ounce cans of energy drink. This drink is about as simple and straightforward as one could possibly be – without gimmicks or good-for-you angles, just a super-caffeinated delicious treat to get people wired for a long time

I really appreciate the Masters of Beverage (yes, that is really the company’s name)sticking to a nice simple formula, while it certainly makes life harder. Rather than carve out their own niche, they are playing with the big boys, having to overcome Red Bull, Monster, Rockstar, Full Throttle, and all those other players who have cemented their place in the market long ago. Fortunately for them, Spider Energy is a truly rockin’ drink! They did about everything right with this gem, and seem to know what they are doing to get it popular. I just hope it is enough to get a toe hold and stick around.

Spider is exactly as it should be, loaded with chemicals and caffeine, High in sugars and carbs with nary a superfruit to be found. There is the standard energy formula of taurine, guarana, l-carnatine, G-glutamine, ginseng and all your B-vitamins. It has a sucrose/glucose blend for a sweetener (not High Fructose Corn Syrup), and is loaded with dyes and preservatives. It is like a cheeseburger. Most of the time it is a range free 99% lean ground turkey with avocado and lite ranch sauce, but sometimes, you need the Big Mac. Sometimes, it is good to just screw healthy and get something that satisfies. This drink just loads you up on the stuff we love; 27 Grams of sugar, 240(!!) mg of caffeine, tons of B vitamins and an energy blend.
But the best part of the drink is the buzz. Without doubt, this drink is one of the most classic caffeinated drinks – right down to the explosive buzz and slight jitters ( which, damn all those haters – I love a slight case of jitter). I even got that great feeling like my eyelids have just latched themselves to the top of my forehead.I can’t barely keep my eyelids closed enough to blink!
I shared some cans of this with some friends of mine – and here is some of their comments:
“I drank a third a can, and was completely wired. and hour later, I did it again and then an hour after that – so this way I felt wired for an entire day!”
“Damn you Big Red Boots! I drank this at five at night, and took a little half hour nap. I was awake until 3AM!”
“First it put me to sleep, and then it kept me awake for a looong time. The buzz is out of control.”
For as much as I enjoy power, I would LOVE to see a diet/lo-carb version of this on the market, just so you don’t need to chug down all 220 calories to get the buzz you are looking for.

I know what you are expecting – a classic energy drink goes for the classic Red Bull/Monster energy flavor, right? But no, they went for sweet orange instead. With this taste and power, this is an easy comparison to NOS, a smaller ED company bought out by Coca Cola. This is a very easy to drink orange, with a touch of sourness but no bitterness. All the medicinal stuff is non-existent, so it is very easy to drink. The only thing I found was all the sugar in this made my teeth feel like they were rotting out of my skull while drinking. Not sure, but I think if you leave this on top of a pay phone, the sugars might eat it’s way through and leave you a handful of quarters. I know there is just about as much sugar in this as in every single other energy drink, but I think it is the sticky sugary orange flavor that makes this seem especially sweet.

This can appeals to the darker side within me. I would definitely feel comfortable drinking this at a metal concert or hanging out with the goth kids. There is enough grunginess to make it acceptable at the local skate park, as well as most other teen alterna-hangouts.
Places this can would not fit in – the Brahms chamber orchestra concert, while giving lectures at Oxford, giving the presidential address, etc. This is a drink made for teens and the extreme sports/music crowd – and that’s OK. It is just a hard market to play in.
I like the main design enough – while not really being special. The can is all orange on black, which looks really hot. I wish the orange was glow-in-the-dark, as it looked very close to it. The text that you WANT to read is in a normal easy-to-read font, and the grunge is not nearly as bad as it could be. They list all ingredients, including caffeine content. Their Teaser paragraph off to the side is decent, and not nearly as dumb as most of the paragraphs found on Monster cans.
The only problems I saw is that there is no double facing on the can, so it is harder for convenience stores to face the cans the right way, and the lid of the can is facing haphazardly, so most of the time the cool spider logo faces inwards as you are drinking it, as opposed to advertising the coolness in your hand as you are drinking it.

Big Red Boots