With the way things are headed these days, the lines between our fiction and reality are getting blurrier and blurrier, what with Zombies taking to the streets around major metropolitan areas, Vampire Madness everywhere and Hot Topics popping up more regularly than Starbucks.
This line has completely melted with the new offering of Tru Blood, the drink straight out of the hit HBO show True Blood. On the show, scientists invented the synthetic blood several years ago, which allowed vampires to come out of their coffins, into the mainstream living among us – and start demanding equal rights.

Mind you, I am not remotely a vampire, not really even a fangb***er. One of my Friends, Leopold, insists he really is a vampire (however, I don’t completely believe him(pictured: right)). I mean, he never shows his fangs, and he smokes ( although they’re cloves, so…), but he does look really pale and gaunt, listens to Evanescence, loves Apocalyptica and Paramore and tries to look all serious/sad – like a tortured soul.

Anyhow, Leopold said he would help me with this review too – from a Vamp’s point of view.

Taste: Leopold– 2, Big Red Boots:9
Leopold the Vampire: As it states in Deuteronomy , “Only be sure that thou eat not the blood: for the blood is the life; and thou mayest not eat the life with the flesh.” So, I am made, like, more evil by drinking human blood. However, I find it so hard, hard to take in the drink of Tru Blood, per se, for after the first 2 or 3 cases of this brew, there is no question my teeth would rot out of my head. And if there is one thing us vampires worry about, it’s tooth decay. I mean, seriously, maybe Willy Wonka’s Blood tastes this sweet, but give me a warm neck over this any night!

Big Red Boots: What I LOVE is that this drink’s taste is much much more than just your average afterthought. Unlike most product knockoffs, real time and effort went into the design of this drink. I am just thanking the production gods at Omni Consumer Products for taking the extra effort to make something us breathers can really enjoy.

It is definitely a blood orange flavor, more crisp and sharp than your average orange flavor.
I enjoyed that it was syrupy and thick – more like what I would picture a carbonated bloody drink to pour like (although its consistency was nothing like soup).

Packaging: Leopold:4, Big Red Boots:10
Leopold: All of the bottles are Type O, which is, unfortunately, not my favorite flavor. There are four blood types, all with their own characteristics. Type O is strong to the point of ruthlessness. Type A is light and delicate. Type B is aggressive and energizing. Type AB is smooth and refined.

Big Red: For me, the detail on the pack is absolutely exquisite. They have really outdone themselves getting as close to the show’s props as one possibly can. The heavy red glass can make anything inside look like synthetic V. Down to the Japanese engraving for the word “True Blood” written on the top (Japanese scientists were the first to make the synthetic blood). On top of that, they even list the caffeine amount. If you are a fan of the show, getting your hands on one of these drinks should be topmost on your Halloween giftlist.

Nutrition/Buzz:Leopold:2, Big Red:7
Leopold: While I really could care less about the calorie content, it does have the all important Vitamin B and Niacin. Also, it has plenty of Glucose, although they added Sucralose too. What the heck am I supposed to do with fake sugar in my fake blood?

Big Red:99 calories is not too bad for a drink that is this large (14oz) and this tasty! Sure, it is full of preservatives and food dyes, but this will help with the mummification process once Mummies have come back into vogue. Or it will still taste good 10 years from now when you finally find this collector’s piece is about as lucrative as your vintage Captain Kangaroo Goggle Eye Drinking Cup.

In terms of energy, the 50mg in here will give about as much energy as a a light energy drink. While by itself there’s not a huge boost, but the added sugars and B Vitamins do give an alertness and focus that I did not have before. Wile this is no substitute for V, it is certainly is easier to come down off of.

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