Posted July 18, 2010 by Big Red Boots in energy water


You can always tell a functional beverage from an energy drink because of a few unbreakable rules. Energy drinks come in all different tastes, ingredients, colors, shapes and bottles. Functional drinks always come in clear plastic PET bottles. They always have their drinks color coded, although the colors and the Function they provide is always meaningless. Functional drinks always have less caffeine in their “energy” variety than any energy drink would. They always taste like a watery Kool Aid package and always pack themselves with some non-nutritive sweetener, like Splenda or sucralose.

Vidration, the functional water put out by Hansens, is exactly that, with zero originality separating it from the dozen or so Functional waters already on the market, like Vitamin Water, Function Water, Lifewater, slip, HARD nutrition,Smart Water, Owater and the dozens filling the marketplace. I guess that explains why Vidration has now reached the Energy Drink’s last stand, Big Lots for 60 cents each.

So if they are all the same, you would think that the differentiators would have to be in the packaging. After all, Vitamin Water has Coca Cola’s marketing team behind it, as well as 50 Cent. Pepsi has the Sobe line all covered with Lizards and hip advertising. All those other manufacturers have already littered the aisles with their form of cool, scientific jargon and fancy illustrations.

In Vidration’s case, the best idea was to stay the course and do nothing out of the ordinary. They wrapped theirs in a shiny metallic strip, and seemed to work hard to leave off any uniqueness or innovation. This is just another Blah bottle with rainbow colored liquid inside.

Like all functional waters, this one is slightly caffeinated, bringing to the table 50mg per serving, or 125mg per 20 ounce bottle. It has all the things functional energy waters have, meaning lots of Some B vitamins, some taurine and some ginseng. No antioxidants in this, just a little potassium, and tons of chemicals, food dyes and preservatives

By slamming down this whole 20 ounce container, it will provide a little lift, about as much as a cup of coffee. Really, the only interesting thing about this drink is why Hansens thought it was a good diea to bother.
This is supposed to be a citrus blend, even though if there is any real citrus in here, it is hidden in the ingredient’s Natural flavorings. It does not taste bad, is easy to drink up, and is exactly the kind of refreshing you would expect from a functional water. The Splenda flavor was a little strong, but overall this was a pleasant enough experience, although nothing would make me want to spend my money on this again.

Big Red Boots