Dragon Joose

After nothing but disappointment in the news about the death of alcoholic malt liquor as a brand, I found the display of Dragon Joose to be a caffeinated godsend. Like the Pontiac Fiero, they finally got it right as the model is pulled from the shelves. This stuff is good – really really good. Put down that 40, leave that vodka/Red Bull alone and grab a couple of these instead. This stuff even smells good! while you are not going to confuse this with actual beer, it certainly beats the living crap out of any 1.99 beer bomber special ( Could this be the end of Mad Dog, Steel Reserve and Evil Eye?)
Taste:8
This is about as good as it gets, folks. You can taste the malt in here – a bit like old bread – but its better than the straight alcohol of Zima or Purple Passion. But unlike all the other malk liquors out there, this is actually TASTY – easy as anything to get through the bigger 24oz can. This reminded me a whole lot of Everclear’s big Purple Passion drink – the one that comes in the big 2 liter bottle – only less intimidating. You can still defintely taste the malt liquor in here – so you can;t just slam the whole can in one go like it was grape soda. Why any good-fer-nuthin hoodlum would even thinking of rollin with any other malt liquor is beyond me.
Buzz/Nutrition:8
9.9% alcohol means this will match strength with any Mickeys or Colt 45. Add to that mix taurine, ginseng and of course caffeine and you got one mean fiery blue demon. The effects of the caffeine are not so powerful that you will be feeling more awake, as the effects of any sleepiness or tiredness are completely gone. Within no time, you will be feeling the effects while not slowin your roll.
To put this elegantly, While the good Bard states that drink provokes, and unprovokes; it might provoke the desire, but takes away the performance, this drink tends to increase the performance by unrestrained emotions while providing mental and physical acuity.
In other words, when the Joose is Loose and the evening flies, and goin right all night til past sunrise.

Packaging:9
Of all the Joose packages, this is definitely the coolest. Not to mention, the bully watchdog group that shut down Tilt and sparks will have a hard time selling anyone that this is an energy drink. This looks a whole lot more like something you find wrapped in a paper bag than anything any energy drinker would bother with. Cool purple dragons engulf this can – but unfortunately leave out all the nutritional info. Maybe there is a regulation prohibiting it – but it still would be nice to see. I love the size, and I love the art – for a caffeinated malt liquor it just does not get any more badass.

Website:http://www.drinkjoose.com – 5
Boy, I was expecting something more than this going to the site. First, you get bombarded by bad rock, and lots of distressed type. Follow that by a woman wearing a fur hat and has only hair covering her breasts. Why? Dunno. It is the only place you will see her though. And then you have this wide array of links, like Joose, which has the cans grow from the bottom of the screen, or Events which has a silly promotional event 6 months ago. There is a super-small bit of info on the products screen and a very dull shopping cart. I think they should give a certain web developer I know a couple cases to develop for them a site they can be proud of. 😉

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